The Loss Bears Too Much Pain
by MrsSmithySmith
Summary: After being trapped in that elevator for almost six hours, they finally awaken. But what lies ahead for our troubled duo and their team members?
1. Chapter 1

**This story was written for keepcalmandshiptiva over on Tumblr. Set in the aftermath of 9x24 and 10x01. So possible spoilers ahead.**

**Tony/Ziva centric. **

**After being trapped in that elevator for almost six hours, they finally awaken. But what lies ahead for our troubled duo and their team members?**

* * *

The settled debris surrounds them, making them appear so much smaller in the confined space.

Several parts of the elevator top lay scattered on and around them, giving them a dusky grey-esque look.

She was the first to wake up. Her head throbbed from the force of the drop she and her partner had endured earlier. She slowly lifted her head and blinked several times to look around the elevator. It was dark. So very dark. She could make out little lighting under what she guessed was the elevator doors. _Not all lights out then, _she thought. She attempted to turn her head once more, laying it across her partner's arm.

She felt around his head and neck for any serious wounds. Her breath hitched in her throat when she felt something wet in the back of his hair. _Blood._

She pushed aside the stabbing sensation in her side, and attempted to wake him up. It took several minutes of patting and lightly shaking his shoulder and weakly calling his name for him to wake up.

"Tony?"

He groaned deep in his throat, and clenched his eyes shut. _That must hurt._

"Ouch!"

Ziva felt a familiar tug in her chest at seeing her partner in pain, and she slowly removed her hand from the back of his head. That _clearly does not help._

"I think you have a concussion."

"I never would've guessed, David." He turns his head in her direction and instinctively presses against her side where his hand still lays. She hisses slightly in pain, but makes no move to remove his hand. He notices though.

"Seems like you're in pain too."

"It is nothing I can't handle."

He can vaguely see her expression in the dark, but the little light travelling under the door does help. He can just make out a heavy crease in her forehead. _She's in pain. _He instantly removes his hand from her waist, in fear of hurting her more. "I am fine, Tony."

He attempts to shake his head, forgetting about his concussion, then realising after the pain increased.

"Stop moving." He wonders how she could see him do that in the dark, but chooses not to question it.

"We have to get out of here."

He feels her nod gently and deliberately slowly against his arm. "Can you get up though?"

"Can you?" In all honesty, he's not sure he can, not without support at least. He wouldn't ask that of her. No, she's injured too.

"Yes." Of course she can. She's not going to admit defeat, even if_ he_ felt like doing so.

"Do you know which floor we're closest too?"

She lifts her head off of his arm, and attempts to look through the small crack in front of them, where light is tunnelling through. She really doesn't know, but she's not giving up hope.

"Possibly outside Abby's lab."

"How certain?"

"60." He's not exactly thrilled, but supposes its better than nothing.

"I wonder how long we've been here."

She's wondering the same thing. It seems like days. "Possibly a few hours. We cannot estimate."

"I wonder who survived."

They take in a sharp breath simultaneously, and shiver at the thought of their team members not making it.

"Here is hoping, they are all alive."

* * *

It's a while later that the idle chatter Tony and Ziva engaged themselves in to keep the other awake, stops. They hear voices above them, shouting for survivors in the rubble.

Ziva is the first to shout out for them, before Tony weakly joins in. Its fire fighters. _Obviously here to clear the building_, they think.

They manage to pry the doors open, and the partners instinctively close their eyes and clench their hands tighter together. When they next open their eyes, they see that the elevator stopped half way before hitting the ground on the floor of Abby's lab. _Good estimate, _he thinks.

The voices of the fire fighters are a blur to the partners. After an intense half hour of coaxing on both the fire fighters and Tony's part, Ziva was eventually pried from his arms and pulled out of the elevator. Tony was pulled out not much later, and they were sent outside with blankets to keep them warm.

The outside of the building is destroyed near the lab. Burnt. Crisp. Broken. Ziva instinctively pressed her head to her partners shoulder. "That's our home."

Tony swallowed the lump in his throat, and curled his arm around her. "I know."

"I cannot believe it's gone." He feels her pain, and wants to comfort her so badly, and she feels his hesitancy when he kisses her forehead. It's an added comfort, but not much.

* * *

The non-stop questions they ask the other cops and other agents, is of no use. They won't say anything. It's not until they are shipped to Bethesda together to get checked over, do they see their co-workers.

Abby is pacing ferociously up and down the visitors ward, and Gibbs is silently letting her vent. Tony and Ziva are confused, but choose not to question them. It'll only cause a headache.

Gibbs is the first to notice them. "DiNozzo. Ziva. You two okay?"

"Minor cuts and bruises. And Tony has a mild concussion." Their Boss merely nods, and sits back again. Abby still hasn't stopped pacing, and Tony and Ziva's concerns begin to grow.

That's when they notice; "Where is McGee?"

* * *

**A/N: Will possibly have another two chapters to put up soon.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I posted this on Tumblr yesterday and forgot to post it on here, but I remembered today! Woohoo! Here it is.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS, nor the characters.**

* * *

Abby stops pacing then. The partners noticed her eyes are watered. _She's been crying._

She launches herself towards them. Hugging them with everything she had. It hurts. Her force always has. But neither say anything. It's a delicate balance they all have at the moment.

Gibbs notices the questioning looks on his agent's faces, and gently eases the scientist away. "McGee is having surgery.. He bared the brunt of the explosion in the bullpen."

Tony's gaze shifts towards his partner when he feels her hand clench around his arm. "Do we know the extent of his injuries?"

"Severe head trauma so far."

The partners nod simultaneously and take up the two available seats behind them. Abby begins to pace again, clutching Bert tighter to her chest, making it fart. "I'm glad you two are okay."

They nodded; "Us too, Abs."

* * *

The next four hours are gruelling in the waiting room. Abby is constantly tripping over to the nurses' station for any updates, and provoking several of them, when nothing was given. Gibbs had gone out at least three times for coffee; whilst Tony and Ziva silently slept on the hardback plastic chairs.

"Just got an update." Tony cracks open an eye and stares over at his Boss. Ziva is still sleeping in the crook of his neck, so he is careful not to disturb her.

"On Tim?"

He shakes his head; "The Navy Yard.. Fifteen bodies have been discovered."

His hand instinctively tightens around his partner, pulling her closer to him. _It could've been her. _"Yet to be identified?"

"Yeah. Got Fornell all over it."

It seems like the logical solution, he thinks. "Where's Abs?"

"Bathroom. Told her to clean up."

Ziva chose that moment to wake up, mumbling incoherently. She groggily lifted her head from her partner's neck, and blinked several times, adjusting to the bright lights of the hospital ward. "Any news?"

"Fifteen people are dead. Not been identified."

He feels her breath hitch in her throat beside him, and he wants, _needs_, to do anything to comfort her. _Life really is unfair_, he thinks. "What about survivors?"

"Most out unscathed. Remaining, cuts and bruises, broken arms and abrasions."

Both Tony and Ziva silently agreed that even if fifteen people died in that bomb explosion, they saved as many lives as they could. But it still didn't feel like enough.

Abby suddenly came bouncing back into the waiting room, a small sad smile plastered on her face, and tear stained cheeks to match. All three agents stood and awaited news.

"Timmy's awake."

* * *

Abby had obviously been the first to storm full steam- ahead into McGee's room, leaving Tony, Ziva and Gibbs to lag behind. Each of the three stayed a while, updating Tim on what had gone on at the Navy Yard. Half way through the conversation, Gibbs left to take a call.

He was out in the hall when he answered; "Yeah, Gibbs?"

"Oh Agent Gibbs thank god!"

"Palmer? You're supposed to be getting married right now."

"I wanted to help you guys and come back, but uh-"

"What's going on?"

"Its Doctor Mallard he's.. He suffered a heart attack earlier."

"Condition?"

"The Doctors said that he is uh, stable. But he requires a lot of monitoring for his heart and blood pressure. They said that he-he had very high blood pressure, possibly brought on by extreme stress. I-I explained the situation with the job and such and they believe that Doctor Mallard suffered because of that."

"You stay with him Palmer. I'm on my way."

"They said if I hadn't found him..He-he might've died."

"Keep your chin up Palmer. Duck needs ya."

* * *

Back in Tim's room, joyous laughter could be heard from all of them, and that made Gibbs hesitate to walk in there and crush their spirits even further than they already had. He shook the thoughts from his head, and pushed open the door. Tony and Ziva were perched, leaning against the large unit at the foot of the bed, with Abby sat by Tim's bedside. Tony and Ziva's smiles immediately cooled when Gibbs entered. They knew something was wrong.

"Hi Gibbs. Doesn't Timmy look much better now?"

"Boss? What's going on?"

"I'm heading to Florida.. Ducky's had a heart attack."

"No..." Tim lifted his arms around the now crying Abby, whilst Ziva quickly clambered out of the room. Tony seeked affirmation from their Boss, and when the subtle nod was given, he raced out after his partner.

"Is he alright Boss?"

"Stable, Tim. Feel better. Gotta go."

* * *

He found her outside the entrance of the hospital, shoulders hunched, oozing so much tension, he physically felt her pain.

He crossed the path separating them without a second thought and instinctively pressed his hand against the back of her neck to reassure her.

Her breath caught again, and Tony's heart ached for her. Everyone's lives had fell apart again, thanks to Dearing, and now they all had to piece it back together.

"We can never escape the demons."

_Yeah, _he thinks. _We never do. _He begins a slow stroking motion with his fingers across the back of her neck to soothe her. Anything really, to make her feel the slightest bit better. He knows it won't work, but it eases his mind that he tried.

"What if Ducky dies?"

He does a double take then. It's not really common for her to break down and give up hope so much that she questions the serious things. He's only ever seen this side a handful of times, and it still causes him concern and a rise of panic and uncertainty washes over him. He still feels the need to reassure her though.

"He won't."

She shakes her head profusely, and yeah, he expected that. He's stood pretty close to her side and just catches the shimmer of tears in her eyes before she turns away, wiping hard at her eyes to prevent the tears from falling.

And that's what steers him into action, and he curls her into his chest and lets her cry. He's not entirely sure that any of them will survive this. They've begun to fall, and its getting quicker by the minute...

* * *

**One more chapter to go guys.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Final chapter is up. Sorry it took so long. Sister's birthday party, all day shopping spree today. Real tired, blah, blah. But its here and its done. Now I can carry on with my other fic 'Its a Family Life'. **

**Disclaimer: I promise no deaths occured in the making of this chapter Mr Glasberg. You can have them back. ;)**

* * *

She doesn't know what she's doing there. Comfort? Someone to talk to? She's really not sure. She's contemplating leaving... He doesn't need the extra stress. They've all had a long day.

She supposes knocking on his door does kinda make the decision clearer. _She wants to be there._

The door swings open in a fast forward motion, and the look on his face tells Ziva that he isn't surprised she's there.

He doesn't say a word when he steps back and lets her in, going straight into the kitchen.

Her gaze lingers on him for a moment, before she trudges into his living area, and plops herself down on his couch. She sheds her shoes and jacket, and waits wordlessly for his return.

He doesn't return, and her concern begins to rise, the hairs on the back of her neck prickling. _He needs me._

She launches herself out of the living area quickly, and comes to stand at the doorway to his kitchen. He's stood by the kettle. Two cups out. A steaming kettle. He's visibly tense. That much she notices. His arms are spread, his hands clenching the counter, his knuckles whitening at the force.

She feels for him. She does. They almost lost McGee today. Then discovered they may have lost Ducky too. It was a frightening reality check. Many agents lost their lives.

She's not sure what she can do to help him.

His head dips forward then, and that's what pushes her into action.

She strides across the kitchen and presses herself against his back, hesitantly placing both arms around his torso. He stiffens. She presses harder into him in response.

His voice is barely above a whisper when he speaks, but she hears him loud and clear. "Our home is gone."

It does sting. They've all lost something they treasured. It's not going to be easy to rebuild their lives again. "We can make a new one." She knows it's a lame attempt at cheering him up, but she can't think of anything else.

"It's not the same."

"No."

"The memories are gone."

She agrees and disagrees with that. _Yes, _the place that holds their memories is gone. But that doesn't mean that the memories are gone. They can make new ones.

"We can make new ones."

"Its. Not. The. Same." He's finally snapped. He'd held himself up for her all day. Now it was her turn to be the leaning post.

She's quiet for a long time, not really sure what to say. What can she say? "I thought we were going to die in that elevator."

That makes him grasp her hand with his own and give it a soft squeeze. He'd had the same thoughts. The mere idea that he'd almost lost her once was painful enough. Today was just another reminder.

"Just reminded me of Paris."

There it is again. The sharp intake of breath. She's done that so many times today he thinks he's getting accustomed to it. "I'm sorry."

He grips her hand harder at that. He doesn't understand why she's apologising. "I still... hear, your screams... See the, fear, in your eyes... It killed me."

"I did not mean for that to-"

"I know." He lifts his other hand to cover both of theirs on his chest. He feels her to start to pull away slightly. It's not exactly the best time to discuss this, but he can't help it. He needs to get this out before it eats him alive any more than it already has. "Doesn't make it any easier."

He feels a damn spot on the back of his shirt where her head lays. _She's crying. I made her cry. _"That was the first time, I had slept better, since they-" She stopped mid sentence, and yeah, he got it. This is hard to talk about. More so for her than him.

"I didn't know what to do.. I'd never, seen you like that before... It scared me, I-"

She clenched her free hand tighter around the fabric of his shirt, balling it up. "I am sorry. I never meant to put you through that."

He twisted around in the embrace, and gripped her shoulders. "No. You have nothing to be sorry for. If I could go back and change things-" He paused; "Did you have any more nightmares after?"

She took several breaths, and gripped his wrists. "Some."

"You never would've told me, if it didn't happen in Paris would you?"

She tugged on his wrists and stepped out of his embrace, and he immediately missed her warmth. "No. Because I wanted it to be over. Whether I like it or not Tony, it happened. I cannot change it, but... I am, grateful, for what you did."

He brushed his knuckles softly over her cheek, wiping away a tear that had unwillingly escaped her eye. "I'd do it again, anytime for you."

Her eyes softened slightly at his gesture, and she leaned into his feather light touch across her cheek again. "I know."

It takes them a little while to settle into a routine, and to say that the night ended with them both sprawled on the couch, Ziva on top of him, sleeping, whilst he stroked her hair and watched the remainder of the third film for that night, was going to happen, then yeah, a couple of hours ago, they wouldn't have predicted this turn of events.

Things are changing now; she had a final breakdown of emotions during the Sound of Music earlier, with tears and clenched fists, and the urge for him not to cry, lost out.

To be honest, the whole day hadn't gone the way any of them had expected.

Tony was grateful for at least one thing that happened today. He could cross No. #19 off of his bucket list. He'd finally touched upon the subject, and the best thing was, Ziva hadn't shut down or walked out on him. He curled his arms tighter around her waist and torso, and one thought crossed his mind as he drifted into unconsciousness; _I'm never letting her go, ever again. Not for anyone._

* * *

**Relaxed now! :)**


End file.
